Can changes in lifestyle improve menopause libido?
Our menopause advice for partners – get talking!
When it comes to relationships and intimacy with your partner do you talk about…
a) everything, no holds barred
b) most things
c) nothing?
If your answer was a) then it seems you’re in the minority. If you’re in the b) or c) camp, then it might be time to tell it like it is. Whatever is happening in your own corner of menopause mayhem, share it with your partner, dealing with your menopause for husbands and partners can be challenging when they haven’t got a clue how you are feeling. They need to understand the reason for your lack of interest in sex. It’s likely to be a consequence of several physical, emotional, and hormonal changes. Not easy on your relationship, so communication and spending time with your partner are key to keeping things on track and staying connected and close.
Women's Health Physiotherapist Christien Bird spoke with Positive Pause on the importance of talking about your sexual problems, whether you are suffering painful intercourse due to menopause symptoms, or low mood, one of the best forms of therapy is talking about it. Read our post on Menopause and Painful Sex: 4 top tips to prevent painful sex during menopause.
Does exercise help low libido?
Stress during menopause has a negative impact on libido, identify your stress trigger and find your own stress buster. Try Pilates or Yoga as calming, stretching exercises are good for relaxation, release endorphins and will improve your overall muscle tone. Check out our vlog Yoga with Annie – Basic Stretching Exercises.
Sleep
Sleep is probably not what you have in mind when it comes to sex. However, a good night’s sleep is essential to a healthy libido and a healthy body in your menopausal years. So, if your love life is a priority, make sleep a priority too.
Strengthen your pelvic floor
The simplest way to engage with your pelvic floor we were advised by physiotherapist Christien Bird from the White Hart Clinic, is to clench your bum hole! (anus), as if you are trying to hold in a fart and hold it for 10 seconds.
Yes, if your Vaginal muscles and pelvic floor can do with a lift right now, you need to start practising Kegel exercises and repeated squeezing of your pelvic muscles. Try the following:
Lie on your back or sit on a chair and quickly relax and contract your pelvic muscles 10 times, taking 10 seconds. You should continue breathing normally whilst doing this, and not suck in your tummy.
Repeat the set of 10 taking slower contractions and holding each contraction for a count of 5, the whole set taking about 50 seconds.
Do this three to four times a day.
Watch our video with Women's Health Physiotherapist Christien Bird on the importance of pelvic floor exercise to improve your sexual experience, especially if painful sex is contributing to your loss of libido.
Squeezy reminder
Download the NHS Squeezy app. Designed to remind women to do their pelvic floor exercises. It's free, there are now no excuses to forget!
Soapy soreness
Scented soaps and shower gels can be astringent. If vaginal dryness is making you sore, water alone is the best way to wash your intimate bits. In terms of intimate hygiene, we all want to feel sexy, however, if you are experiencing heightened smell in your vaginal area, ensure you do not wash inside your vagina, only around it, which means only your vulva, it’s helpful to know your anatomy in menopause!
Use a natural body wash especially formulated for your vagina if you need to feel fresher. Try Canesfresh Feminine Wash Soothing Wash Gel. It’s a Canesten product that has been developed especially for those times “when you’re suffering discomfort around your intimate area”, such as vaginal dryness and thrush.
Lubricate and moisturise
Your vagina is less likely during menopause to produce moisture when stimulated and it also shrinks a little, so it’s time for a little lubrication. Lubricants are usually used to relieve vaginal dryness during intercourse rather than as a long-term solution. Products include Yes Water or Plant-Based Lubricant, Sylk Intimate Moisturiser or Slippery Stuff, a water-based personal lubricant.
Now cross your legs! The tissue around your vagina thins during menopause so intercourse may cause uncomfortable friction or even tearing. Recommended in NICE guidelines Replens long-lasting vaginal moisturiser and Sylk Natural Intimate Moisturiser are available on prescription, over the counter, or online.
Read our article written by Sylk on Sex and the Menopause for additional tips to relight your fire!