Low sex drive during menopause affects relationships at a time when you need as much love from your partner as you can get. There are many reasons why, quite frankly, our flames of passion seem more like hormonally depleted cinders with this common menopause taboo. Embarrassment, or as Positive Pause women have told us, shame, means we usually don’t discuss what’s happening with our partner. Talk now to prevent misunderstandings and relationship problems further down the line.

What causes menopause low libido?

Levels of oestrogen, progesterone, androgens, and testosterone surge and drop in menopause affecting sexual desire and how we follow up on it. Plus physical symptoms including hot flushes, irregular or heavy periods, fatigue, breast pain, and vaginal dryness aren’t exactly going to make you feel foxy. Vaginal dryness is one of the first indicators of perimenopause and added to psychological symptoms such as anxiety and depression, the feeling that your delicate bits are lined with sandpaper probably puts a tin hat on your libido.

For more information, see our symptom piece on Vaginal Dryness

How can a doctor help menopause with low libido?

If adjustments to your lifestyle haven’t helped, your doctor can discuss hormone replacement treatment (HRT) options or may be able to refer you for specialist support. Psychosexual therapy is available on the NHS, or privately.

It can be tough talking to your doctor about such intimate areas of your life. The 2016 British Menopause Survey found that half the women going through menopause are too embarrassed to talk to their doctor. Try to book an appointment with a doctor you feel most comfortable with or ask if a doctor in your practice specialises in menopause.

Women’s Health Physiotherapist Christien Bird from the White Hart Clinic told Positive Pause that she often has patients referred by doctors to help with pelvic floor problems, prolapse, incontinence, and painful sex due to vaginal dryness, or muscle tension in the pelvic area. She said there is no subject that is too intimate and that you need to be 'courageous and ask for help'.

Alternatively, you could ask your doctor to refer you to a specialist menopause clinic near you. A quick internet search showed that Positive Pause local health trust runs a ‘menopause clinic for women experiencing a problematic menopause’ in a local hospital.

They may have long waiting lists or none in your area, so you want to find a menopause doctor online. An option we recommend is Dr. Morton’s medical helpline, where it’s possible to speak anonymously about intimate problems and receive expert advice from an expert menopause-trained gynaecologist, to help you control your issues. This service charges a small consultation fee, details of which can be found on Dr. Morton’s medical helpline website.

How does HRT help with low libido?

HRT can improve sleep patterns, increase energy levels, and reduce stress. However, some forms of HRT can cause the body to produce less testosterone, important for libido, mood, and energy levels so you may want to check this out with your doctor. We don’t take a view. It’s for you to decide whether it’s for you or not.

Does testosterone help menopause loss of libido?

There has been a lot of discussion surrounding the prescription of testosterone for menopause symptoms and its availability for women on the NHS. It really does depend on whether you have the funds to pay for a private menopause clinic to bolster your libido in menopause and whether your budget can sustain it.

A google search will help you find the nearest specialist menopause doctor or ‘menopause clinics’ in your area.

And the good news is….

Your sex life shouldn’t wither with age. Once your body has adjusted to its hormone levels your sexual desire should return. And think about the positive benefits of menopause, no more periods or contraception worries. Diet, lifestyle and overcoming your embarrassment to talk about what’s happening, will give you the confidence to ask for help from a medical professional for treatment if your symptoms are severe.

Your happiness is important, suffering in silence is not going to help this common menopause problem.